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GREETINGS, EARTHLINGS!
What does a highly advanced and gifted ancient civilization/bloodline have to do to get noticed around here?
We come from many different constellations and star systems. we’re here to harvest your organs and destroy your oceans, nature and wildlife for rocket fuel, gold and to take over your planet. Lol Kidding!! That’s more of a job for your “trustworthy” government
Given that your human civilization has not yet achieved interstellar travel, you are likely unaware of how lonely space is. But we are aware! So we hooked up some garvanplows to a couple of flargenbows (and a minoflor, just for giggles) and set out to find some friends in the cosmos and to bring u highly important but forgot about ancient knowledge that will be significant to the growth of humankind and our ascension from 3d to a 5d earth
For the last 400 hundred years, we’ve been trying to make contact with you, to no avail. We have even sent in a few of our own kind disguise as humans to bring you this knowledge and make you aware of the evil things being done to you and your planet physically, mentally, spiritually and financially , But then our Lead Human Researcher made a huge breakthrough: nothing is real to humans until it is on the internet or until the evil ones tell you it’s true thru there news or music outlets. So with the help of King skar, 1wayrundown and new intergalactic musical technology, we sincerely hope the 55,419th time is the charm!
FAQs
We understand enough about your fragile human brains to know that you probably have questions about the sudden appearance of a race of technologically superior space beings on your intergalactic doorstep. Our Human Affairs Officer has prepared some answers below.
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Our understanding of time is very different from yours. Let’s just say roughly about a hundred times longer than your civilization has existed.
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The official language of Canis Minor is Canish.
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Friends! We want to share new experiences, our deepest darkest secrets and funny memes.
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They’re both so cute! Nothing beats Ooflas, our own little companions, though. We had to leave them at home with a friend.
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We understand not all humans have the time or access to travel, but honestly, every inch of your planet has something to brag about!
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Our physical forms are much more malleable than the human body. This allows us to adapt to new environments across the cosmos. When we are on Earth, we choose to look more similar to humans for your own comfort.
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Obviously, we have names! Ask us and we'll tell you. Just like meeting a new human friend.